new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
