Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
