its not stalking. its research.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
