You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
