Heybabeimwearingurpanties
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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