We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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