I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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