were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
