How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
