Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
