Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
