Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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