MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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