Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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