You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
