so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The air taste purple.
Randomize
