You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
