You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
