she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
