she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
