smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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