i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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