Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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