Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
