It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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