My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
