I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
found the other keg... it's in the tree
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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