Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
