Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
