Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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