i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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