all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
