I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
