Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
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