Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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