You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
