My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I see more hoeing in ur future
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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