walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
