How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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