I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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