"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
