By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
