are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
