oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
