Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you would pick up someone in the library
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
