Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
