so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
