I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
