I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
