Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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