and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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