maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
