dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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