The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
