I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
