I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She said her name was "party"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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