he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
