That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
