I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
