A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It was confusing and full of hummus
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
