just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
