Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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