i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
A+ Viking dick
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